Ramblings From an Apathetic Adult Baby

A non-comprehensive collection

Season Three

Hello Again, Wonderful Readers,


It’s my pleasure to be hosting you once more, or even for the first time, here at JustinGawel.com. Leave your coats and your traditionalist notions of fortune cookies and diagnosing alcoholism at the door with Thistlewick. Don’t let his clammy hands of mustache thicket deter you, I’ve been assured that he’s trained and lectured at all the fanciest Internet butler academies. A kind word is appreciated or any reminiscing is fine if you, too, are an alum of RoyalOttomanServitudeInstitute/SchoolOfButleryAndMines. Please, though, do not ask him if he knows Jeeves.


Head into the parlor and grab yourself drink and a seat. I have several more chairs, stumps, and love swings out back if we need it. Homemade truffles and factory-made Bagel Bites will be out momentarily. Settle in, now; we have nine pieces to get through this season. As always, I had a blast writing them. I hope you enjoy laughing, crying, cringing, seething, napping, or cursing my name through an unplanned existential crisis as you’re going through them.


I think we’re all here now. Sorry, some of the Bagel Bites burned a little; might just need to be generous when you’re at the Ranch dressing spigot. No, please, don’t be shy—that’s what the tarp is there for.


Hope you enjoy!








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Thank You, and Onward Into the Bed Bath and Beyond

Ladies and Gentlemen,


Thank you, danke schön, truly all of the above!


The Season Two Hopper has been depleted. I appreciate you all subscribing and surfing your way over each week and letting me distract with little stories, letters, pleas. The occasional joke stretched out to the point where it’s no longer funny. I really do always appreciate the support and Internet love. Seriously, thank you all for making writing even more fun!


Before I retreat into regenerating my article reserve for Season Three and continuing work on a few longer projects, I’d like to share one more piece. It would have been posted here had it not run on National Lampoon’s website back in March:


For Our Wedding We’re Registered For All the Items We Destroyed During the Blowout Fight We Had While Registering at Bed Bath and Beyond


Sorry for making you click through; I just have to abide by their terms here.


Thank you all, again, for being amazing. See you in Season Three!








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