Ramblings From an Apathetic Adult Baby

Overdue is just another man’s fashionably late.

We made it to Season Two, albeit two months behind a self-imposed schedule.

Huge thank you to WordPress—it’s your automated payment system that keeps me in business.

Here’s where I’d typically launch into a semi-real list of projects that kept me from posting more this past year. You know, it’s the same gimmick every time. All those improbable, far-fetched jokey excuses. This year, however, I had an epiphany. It was on the third night of my annual hot-air balloon race around the world when I told myself that I would buck my tired, hacky trend. This would be the year I wouldn’t write a fake, goof-around list.

Once the race was over and I’d won the six million from Judy Blume and controlling stake of Burlington Coat Factory from Cat Stevens, I looked around the Laotian monastery we’d rented out and said, “Nope, no way. I’m still not going to make up something silly for Season Two.” Judy and Cat commended me, and the three of us got back to solving mysteries together for our reality show/T.J. Hooker reboot.

Three months later, after we were done shooting, the network called us. We were holed up at our five-thousand-square-foot tree house perched above Mount Olympus, or, as we call it, “The Best Friends Mansion.” The network said the show needed more romance. I told them that it already had enough nudity, thank you. They, too, pressed me about the website and I reiterated that there was no way I was doing a ridiculous list again. It’s a completely played-out idea.

Boy, am I ever glad I resisted the urge to write some wacky introduction to Season Two. That could have been incredibly embarrassing and would have completely undermined my entire anti-nonsense agenda.  Anyways, enjoy these eight or nine pieces of writing over the next two months.

On a serious note, all of you readers are absolutely amazing. I am truly a lucky man to have this kind of support here. Thank you all for everything.

Love,

-Justin

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