Ramblings From an Apathetic Adult Baby
Mostly rambles, few brambles
The Nice Post – 2020
I don’t post much about myself on here, mostly because stories about time travelers, trans-dimensional picnics, and teeth bartering are far more interesting than my actual life, which only features a small modicum of toothsome trading.
Welcome to the Nice Post. If you want to come back in on January 6th when absurdity resumes, I completely understand. I get that seeing things out of character can be jarring, whether you are bumping into your teacher at the supermarket or finding Santa Claus fighting behind the bowling alley. So if you prefer to think of me as some sort of non-human entity, perhaps some sort of sentient gas cloud or as mannequin who has come to life and can never die, I’m okay with that, but you’ll need to stop reading if you wanting to maintain any sort of illusion.
I am a regular guy who has simply been thrilled and floored with everyone on here. It’s absolutely more fun to write for an audience and I’ve been grateful to have such thoughtful, funny, fantastic people who have tuned in each week. My goal was to get more regular this year, and I’ve achieved that with my doctor’s help, but writing on here each week also has been a blast as well.
Looking forward to 2021. Thank you all for everything, and I believe we still have more ground to cover on truffle pigs, steamy CPR classes, and dad jokes.
Much Internet love to all of you!
-Justin
Jarring, yes — like, gallon mayonaise restaurant-supply size… 🤭
Oh my, yes. So much mayo for my tartar-sauce, tartar-control lifestyle!
Um, in case you haven’t figured it out yet, none of us believed in that tartar-control diet thing anyway. Don’t feel bad — it just wasn’t right for you personally, my brother. You’ll find something, you’ll see. Hey, have you checked out the one that’s just solid moth particles for, like, a whole month, and then you just drink horse piss for a week? They say the pounds just roll off you…
Moth particles, you say? Basically a rice krispie that had been alive one, so double bonus! The horse piss, I’m sure will do the trick, does it need to be a specimen who has been out to stud, or can I get away with this overweight horse I know named Jellybean?
Jellybean piss should wash those live crispies down just right!
Truly the morbidly obese horse that keeps on giving!
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. I look forward to the absurdity and humor in 2021.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you as well! I’m real jazzed to keep writing goofiness in 2021!