Ramblings From an Apathetic Adult Baby
Mostly rambles, few brambles
Season 3+
Season Three
Terry’s Terrific Funerals
“Guess Who” Would You Do?
Dearest Wife, I’m Sorry that You’ve Decided to Murder Me
“Soldier of Fortune” Cookies
The Crown
U.S. Male
My Good Friend, the DSM-IV
How to Succeed at Evil Without Really Trying
2020
Buddy of the Groom
Do I Actually Like Backpacking?
Braggadocio, Missouri,
The Perfect Card
I Have No Desire To Ever Attempt to Join Mensa
Nailed It
The Inevitable Coming-Of-Age Cool People Drug Talk
Under Hobbies, He Wrote “Revenge”
Untouched Trash Sandwich
Remind Me Not to be a Jerk
You’re Putting in a Pool?
Career Aptitude Test
There Are Bad Ideas in Brainstorming
They Broke Into My Car
What to Expect When You’re Expecting: U.S. Census
Wait, You Wouldn’t Commit Horrible, Geneva-Violating Atrocities to Bring a Loved One Back to Life?
“Porky Pig”
The All-Time Best Zinger
Live-Tweeting a Nosebleed
A Few Ding Dongs Fell Down Open Manholes and Now We All Have to Walk Around with These Dopey Safety Oars
Atticus Finch and the End of the World
My Eye Was Diagnosed As Lazy, But He Might Just Be Trying to Find Himself
Crash Dieting For My Funeral
One Star: The Indoor Skydiving Place Wouldn’t Let Me Bring In A Hot Pocket
Are You Brave Enough To Get Chocolate Pudding Out Of Your Hot Tub?
Viewer Discretion is Advised
Hates To Lose
Lice
Workplace Sexual Harassment Compliance Quiz:
Negotiation 101: Purchasing A Quaint, Woodsy Cottage For A To-Be-Determined Amount of Human Teeth
COVID-19 Cancelled Our Prom, And Now I’m Never Going to Lose My Virginity
I Want My Steak So Rare That It Still Has Hopes and Dreams
Annual Picnic – TL;DR
We’re Closing Our Brooklyn-Based Sweatshop
Sorry, Shareholders; The Company is Over
The Morally Abhorrent, Yet Very Affordable, Sandwich Place
Your Holiday Sucks—Ten Ways to Make it Better
Flirting My Way Through CPR Certification
I Do Not Believe Bill Clinton Could Do Any Chin-Ups
Why Aren’t All The Other Cinematic Time Travelers Also Wanting to Have Sex With Themselves?
I Take Chloroform To Fly
An Indecent Halloween Proposal
When Giving a Speech, Try Picturing Everyone Naked, See Where That Gets You
Squeezing In One Last Couples Fight Before Our Plane Crashes
